Happy New Year!!

Dearest family, friends and also people whom I do not even know,

Happy New Year 2009 to all of you!!
It is my prayer to everyone in this year that we will find love, contentment, joy and in struggles, may you learn to dance in rain/storm.

From,
Me!!
1st January 2009

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Who am I by Casting Crowns

31st December 2008

What a way to end the last day of Year 2008. I prayed that I will see snow today. Today, I saw basically all kinds of weather you can get. I saw rain drizzling in early morning, sunshine, cloudy, slight snow and strong wind. I paused a while at the desk at office in the afternoon after seen & feel all I have said and as I reflect on Year 2008, it has been like the weather I saw today. Year 2008 has not been an easy year and it was not a year without joy and excitement. It has been a mixture of everything.

It was a unique & gracious year. One most important thing I have learned is that God is God. He has planned year 2008 even before the beginning of time. He has planned every single details of each seconds of Year 2008. I remembered I did not spend my new year of year 2008 enjoying and being thankful. Instead, I was crying and complaining how my life can be in such pain. Today is the last day of Year 2008. My tears still flow today but with thankfulness, forgiveness, contentment and joy in my heart.

I am excited for a brand new year. Seriously, people who knows me will know that I can easily made many new year resolutions and forgot about it a day after new year. Well, this still does not prevent me to make new year resolutions for Year 2009. I may not able to achieve the resolutions but at least I hope I will work on certain areas of my life.

A new year does not mean it will be without tears, pain and hurt, there will also be joy, goodness, contentment, etc. I hope that I could keep trusting in God as He show and bring me through Year 2009.

I remembered every single moments as I quiet my heart and close my eyes about Year 2008. But, it is time to say goodbye and Welcome Year 2009.

My recent trip....

I am so glad I went for a short holiday. I was in San Francisco (SF) for a few days. Lovely & is awesome. I thought I could escape the cold weather in Maryland but it is actually quite chilly in SF and I actually see snow in my trip to Yosemite National Park. It is bizarre!! Well, it is not meant for me to escape the cold weather. Nevertheless, I am really thankful for this trip. I wished I could stay a little longer but the price is sky-rocketing during Christmas season.

SF is beautiful. I love the architectures. It is unique. It took me 6 hours flight from Maryland to SF. Traveling in SF is not hard but it takes a lot of time to travel from one place to another. Of course, within city area, you could walk but SF is very hilly, so, you wouldn't want to be exhausted before the end of the trip.

One thing I realized from this trip (also in other trips) is that there are many things that camera cannot capture. There are things that only can be captured by eyes & in memories.

Anyway, here is a short summary of my trip to SF:

1st day - Ferry to Alcatraz. Alcatraz was previously a military-based, a prison, a land for the Indians, now part of the national recreation park of California. Then, I was in Fisherman Wharf and the farmer's market at Ferry Building before I head to Muir Woods National Park & Sausalito.

2nd day - Bus tour to Yosemite National Park. It was a 14 hours trip. It took 8 hours to & fro Yosemite. It was also rainy & I was all wet walking one of the trails but nevertheless it was beautiful. I think it will be really awesome to go there during spring time.

3rd day - Alamo square, Russian Hill, cable cars (really have to queue up, best to go early in the morning), Coit Tower, Transamerica Pyramid, Golden Gate Bridge (it is really amazing to walk over the bridge).

4th day - Grace Cathedral, Golden Gate Park, Palace of Fine Arts, ride the Streetcar, Chinatown.

Christmas Day.....

Merry Christmas to all!!

By the time I wrote on my blog, it has already passed Christmas. But to me, everyday is Christmas to me :) Each day is God's given grace & mercy through Christ.

Well, there wasn't any church service on Christmas day. It is kind of weird that most churches in America has only Christmas services on Christmas eve. I basically slept most of my Christmas day and do my quiet time & also pray for the coming year for a renewal of heart. This is a small part of my prayer, some part of it is quoted from a book (The Power of Praying).

"Dear God, thank you for your saving grace. Please forgive me my sins. Soften my heart where it has become hard. Make me fresh where I have become stale. Lead me and instruct me where I have become unteachable. Make me to be faithful, giving, and obedient the way Jesus was. Help me to draw near to you. Amen"

I was hoping to see a white Christmas. Nevertheless, I had a good Christmas!!

Merry Christmas!!

Dearest family & friends,

Merry Christmas to all of you!!

Love always :)

Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for harvest and express gratitude. In United States, it is always celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November and the day after thanksgiving is usually a holiday, which I wasn't sure until two days before thanksgiving :) People will travel home, turkey will be slaughtered, pumpkins will be a definite meal on table and families will gather to prepare and share a meal together. This reminds me of Chinese New Year reunion dinner. But, it is different in which families actually give thanks at dinner table and the food is definitely way different.

Typical food for thanksgiving will be: Turkey & stuffing & gravy, ham, cranberries sauce, corn fritters, mashed potatoes, green beans, squash, apple pie, pumpkin pie

I wish I took a picture of all the food to show you but you really have to try it to know what I am talking about. The amount of preparations is huge. I am so thankful to experience my first thanksgiving in a very nice & hospitable family. It will be nice to implement thanksgiving back home, to reflect & give thanks, family gatherings & to learn to cook the above.

Songs from Vienna Teng...

There are so many nice songs out there to be discovered. Recently a friend of mine introduced me to a Taiwanese American pianist cum singer-songwriter. She used to be a computer science student, work with Cisco, quit her job to pursue music. I did not fall in love with some of her songs and voice but there is this album which I really like, as a matter of fact, I have been listening to this album everyday. The album is Waking Hour.

AnnieMosesBand

How cool it is to have the whole family playing music & instruments together in a band to worship God!! Yesterday, I went to listen to a band called AnnieMosesBand. As written in its' website, once heard, they will not be forgotten. It is sooooo good. Most of them play strings but all music accompanied by piano, guitar bases & drums. I bought many of their CDs, hoping to give a few as Christmas gifts. I definitely have became a fan of them :)
Visit AnnieMosesBand at http://anniemosesband.com

I realised I have been ignorant to lots of things, issues, etc.

Seriously, I have been quite ignorant on a lot of things, knowledge and issues. There are so many things that in the past, I have become ignorant to but now, I would like to know more about these things. Knowledge and wisdom has no end but once you stop pursuing, that is an end. I guess this could be my next topic on my blog.

I guess my ignorant does not limit to knowledge alone, it also transcend to issues too. Sometimes, the things/tiny issues that do not concern me at that moment, I will take no notice or ignore the issues. But, when it is pressing hard at my 'door' later on, I regretted ignoring them at the first place.

Enthusiasm.....

Well, by now, I am pretty sure most people in the world know that America has its' new president. I am definitely not going to write about the new president for I do not know him and I am not a citizen of the country. Neither am I going to write about their policies and my opinions on them or compare America with my country.

But, one thing I would like to write about is the enthusiasm I see in people of America in voting. Both young and old, people of all races staying in America, regardless of which policies they against or for, all of them has one thing in common. They want their voices to be heard and they believe that their votes will make a difference. Though some people are indecisive of which president to choose, most people whom I asked voted, some lined up in long queues to vote, employers encouraged their workers to take time out of office to vote. This year America made history regardless the choices they made. One thing I am amazed that people of America has come to put aside their differences; races, skin colour, and age to choose their president.

Conquer opponent with love

It was a very interesting comment on the radio as I drove to work one morning. I can't imagine very well how a person can do so without hatred and curses. How many of us would conquer an opponent with love? I bet most of us do not do so. At least, I do not. Perhaps, after my anger cool down, I many forgive someone. But, the comment is a very good one, in fact, it got me thinking whose my opponents are, my enemies, who has hurt me or even person that I do not like and how I should be treating these people. Perhaps, conquer them with love is the best way for me and for the person.

Do you want to love or expect to be love?

Perhaps, if we all love more rather than expect people to love you more, the world may be better to live. However, it is a fallen world. I wish I could be loved more but I always do not get more love. Perhaps, I could learn to love people more than to be loved. If I do this, chances of getting hurt is much higher.

So, do you want to love or expect to be love more? Is it because you are trying to guard your heart from being hurt that you are building walls around you?

A walk to remember

Have you watched this movie before? What do you think?

It is about a Christian girl who has cancer who falls in love with a boy, who does not believe God and have attitude problem also. In the end of the show, they boy's heart was changed from a rascal to a good boy, he married the girl though she only has months to live. The only thing I remembered after I watched this movie five years ago was I cried after that.

Yesterday, I watched it again in TV and yes, I cried again because it is touching. It has a lot of elements about Christianity. However, this movie should not be an encouragement for Christian girls or guys to go out with non-believers. Well, the girl in the show was blessed that the guy has a changed of heart. It could be God's work in his heart. But, in reality, though this does happen (if in God's plan), it should not be an encouragement that you could change a person's heart. Remember, God is the one who changes one's heart. It is so easy to justify that we know all these and promise not rush into things, will share the gospel first, if he accepts God then we can go out, etc, etc.... Trust me, in many cases, you will in the end realize that your justifications are all so wrong. The one who gets hurt most is you, yourself. Yes, God changes a person's heart according to His will and timing. Brothers and sisters, trust the Lord and not yourselves to change someone's heart to come to know the Lord. I used to be a person who will find all ways/excuses to justify what I have mentioned, only to know that I was wrong.

If you would like to see someone to be saved, pray for the person. Pray that God will have mercy on that person. This is my prayer for someone I love, my family whom I love, friends whom I know, like and love:

Dear God,
You are sovereign Lord. You created everything in heaven and on earth including men and women.
Thank you that You sent your ONE and ONLY son to die on the cross for our sins.
Please have mercy on .............
May You in your great mercy and kindness, help .............. to come to trust in you as LORD and SAVIOUR over his/her life. No one could change a person's stoned/hardened heart to come to trust in You but God, you can, in fact, only you can.
Thank you God.
In Christ name, this is my prayer. Amen.

A second chance...

I remembered I cheated on the results of my chemistry lab experiment. What I did was I changed the recorded results on the chemistry lab paper so that the results look good. Anything hided will be exposed one day. I was confronted by the lab demonstrator and I pleaded guilty and said I am sorry and I will not repeat it again. So, the lab demonstrator gave me another chance. I was really embarrassed and prayed the whole afternoon for forgiveness from the LORD. You think that I will not sin, gosh, you are so wrong. I have sinned terribly. The above is just a minor one.

I have heard of a story that a guy cheated on her girlfriend. Even though they maybe differences between them but more or less, the breakup is not without the influence of a third party. Only later, he realizes that he has made a big mistake. He went to her girlfriend and ask for forgiveness and she forgave her. Recently, I have heard on the TV about how a victim's family of a shooting forgave the family whose son walked into the school and killed a few students.

Well, what I want to write here is about 'a second chance'. If the guy who cheated on her girlfriend did not ask for forgiveness and a second chance, he and her would not be appreciating each other more than before and they are heading towards marriage now. If the shooter's family has not asked for forgiveness, the two families will not be embracing each other and cried together. If my lab demonstrator has not given me a chance, I would have been considered plagiarism and might face terrible consequences. If God has not given me a second chance because of my terrible sins in the past, I would have been expelled from His Kingdom.

Not everyone is lucky to have a second chance. Grasp hold of it when you can. Life is too short to have a second chance.

Recipe : Tomato Prawns

This is a dish that I used to cook for someone who loves prawns despite cholesterol level...... hmm.. I wasn't thinking of murdering you with prawns :) I know you love to eat prawns.

Here is the recipe:

Tomato Prawns
Ingredients:
1 kg prawns
2 cloves of garlics
1 clove of small red onion (optional)
1 teaspoon of salt
1 tablespoon of soya sauce
Half a bottle of tomato sauce
1 teaspoon of sugar

Methods:
1. Clean the prawns with salt and wash the salt away. Best for tomato prawns is to retain the shells. Prawn shells give a natural sweet taste to the dish.
2. Heat up two-three tablespoons of cooking oil.
3. Fried the garlics and small red onion till brown.
4. Add in the prawns. Cook till it is half-cooked. Then, add in salt, soya sauce and tomato sauce. You could add in a bit of water since tomato sauce does have thickening ability.
5. Add sugar to taste. Normally, with the measurement of ingredients, a teaspoon of sugar is enough.
6. Serve and ENJOY!!

non-stop talking....

Have you ever know someone or have friends (girls/ladies/women) who are talk non-stop?
I think this is my first time knowing someone with such characteristics. I really don't mind but sometimes it is just too hard to be patient with the person. Imagine, sitting around a table with three girls non-stop talking. Pretty annoying though. I know I should not be complaining but just get on a small nerve of mind :)

New York, New York....

I was in New York for holiday for 4 days 3 nights. Never dream that I would be in New York one day, but I did go there. It is a blessing despite not liking too many cars, buildings and people. Well, basically, that sums up all of my opinion about New York, didn't like it. It is good for a short stay, visiting famous places but to stay more than 4 days 3 nights, hmm.... not possible, at least not for me. It was a labour day weekend when I was in New York, extremely packed with people.

I went to almost all famous places at least those that do not require me to pay an entrance fee. Well, generally, a lot of places are without admission/entrance fee. Will upload some nice shots to my blog later. I think the best famous place that I love is Central Park. I wish my country has a park in the middle of town.

It is a memorable holiday and I have taken so many pics that on average on one spot, I took at least 3 pics. This is more on trying to improve my photography skills. hehehehe

ACTS musical - CLC

This is the first time I see a musical made from the book of Acts. Hardly people will make Acts into a play/musical. Covenant Life Church (CLC) uses the book of Acts in their musical as an evangelistic event. The hard part of the musical is to make it into a modern musical. It was really good, very bible-based. Thumbs up!!

Walking Her Home - Mark Schultz

This is a very nice and sweet song. As I ponder the words in this song, I asked a question. Will I ever be in such a relationship that will last till death? Amazing how the song portrait the husband and wife from the first moment they went out as couple to the deathbed.

Walking Her Home - by Mark Schultz
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you'll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground

(Chorus)
*As* he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
*So when the* doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he's got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

(Chorus)

He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out

But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Another olympics has passed...

wow.. another olympics has passed... Time really flies. It is only recently that I have seen the opening ceremony and today, I watched the closing ceremony. I went for Olympics in Sydney in year 2000. It was good and it seems that it happened yesterday. Olympics in Beijing was really good, the computer technology that Beijing employed was really Hi-Tech, the choreographer was really well performed, the stunts, etc. Though the fireworks may not be real but computerly generated, it was well done.

I was at a table of few people, mainly Singaporeans talking about Olympics. They were complaining there were no olympics spirit in Beijing, the people smiling are so fake, the fireworks are fake, etc. I think some Singaporeans do not quite like Chinese from China. Mainly, maybe because there are a lot of Chinese who are in Singapore taking over their jobs. But, little do the Singaporeans remember, that they themselves are Chinese and their ancestors from China.

I think China has done a marvellous job in olympics. I think people should be seeing the matter itself (olympics in this case) rather than prejudice towards Chinese people from China. This is just my opinions. To my Singaporean friends, I hope you will not get upset hearing this from me. But, I know most of my friends in Singapore are not like those I have mentioned here. :)

Life is like that... do you think life can take a different turn?

Some people (including myself) always say that this is how my life is and is going to be, he/she/I can't change, I am born that way.. true enough that there are many things already predestined for example, the day I was born, the day I will leave the world, etc. However, there are also many things that can change if we are to take actions. A friend of mine always say that he is meant to be a rough and rude person because it is the way he was born. He can't change. Well, my friend, you can change. It is a matter whether you choose to and whether you are willing and determine enough. Changes do not come in a day or a month or year time, sometimes, it takes years. So, STOP saying you can't change, START take actions.

Promises & stands......

Definitions:
Promise = a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified (Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary)

Stand = remain valid or unaltered (AskOxford Dictionary)


Let me begin with the word 'promise'. It is noted that the word maybe began in usage in the very beginning of time, dated back to Abraham's time when God made promises to Abraham. Promise is a declaration that something will be done. Sadly, nowadays, promises are often made as empty promises. Promises are so easy to make but very hard to keep. If you can't keep a promise, please don't make one. I fall short in keeping promises and I have been trying my best not to make promises I cannot keep. I hope other people will do so too before you hurt someone.

I love the definition of 'stand' in AskOxford Dictionary. Perhaps, some dictionary may expound on the word better but as for my blog writings today, the definition suffice. I think many people is misusing this word but never really meant the stands they made. I have to confess that I did and do that too. After all, no one is perfect. Seriously, I deeply regretted it. I remembered a friend of mine clearly said about her stand in choosing a partner in life. For many times, she told me her stands. I was amazed at her at the stands she made. But, it wasn't the case. What has and is happening is totally the reverse side of the stand that she made.

Life is not and never will be perfect and is man/woman; you, he, she, me, everyone under the sun. I am waiting for the day the LORD will restore all things and all people. But, on that day too, I have to give an account of all the terrible things I have done.

Tired........

I am extremely tired; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually dry. I need a break!!
Well, don't really know why I am so tired physically. Hope I am not falling sick. Mentally and emotionally, hmm..... unstable :)
Spiritually, has been questioning a lot of why(s) to God. But, as I read Psalm 95:1-7 today, I am rebuked and reminded that God is God; over all the earth and heaven. Sometimes, there are a lot of things I will not understand, perhaps not in this lifetime, but, I can trust in God. The point is not so much of overwelmed by questions of why this, why that... , (this doesn't mean not asking any why if it is for good purpose, they why(s) here are refering to why(s) on sufferings/anxieties/uncertainties), but rather, let God take charge and trust in Him for He is trustworthy.
The pain and uncertainties are part of God's disciplines and rebukes and refining in my walk with the LORD.

Sometimes there are certain memories I would hope to erase, but, at the sametime, I would want it to stay. Such memories are normally bitter-sweet. My memory is like 'Dory', the fish in Finding Nemo. I can be very forgetful. But, there are some memories I cannot erase. Sometimes, I wish I could just press the 'delete' button just like in computer. But, sometimes, I hope to save it in a disc so that I could keep it for remembrance.

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me!!

Hip Hip Hooray!!

08-08-08

It is my last year in my 20's. When I was young, I always hope that I can grow faster so that I can be an adult soon. I used to think that being an adult, I got a lot of freedom to do what I want and I should be happier then. That may be true to many people, but, believe me, being an adult is not easy. Yes, I have a lot of freedom but with the freedom I have, I made mistakes and foolish decisions most of the time. There are time of happiness and joy but there are many times with heartaches, sadness, foolishness. There are a lot of pressure to be an adult. Don't get me wrong. I love being a child and being an adult. I look forward for the years to come in life. I trust He is looking after me, whatever will be will be.

Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

It has been a long while....

Gosh!! It has been super duper long since I wrote on my own blog. Maybe it is time to revive my blog after a long silence. Years pass very quickly. I remember this blog was created in 2005 when blogs were in its' hypes. Its' still does. Blogs have not lost its' touch in creating a space for politicians to lavish people of their promises, for business people to use it to advertise their products, for ordinary people; people like you and me to write about our lives, opinions, wisdom, foolishness, joy and sadness. Seriously, the past three years have not been easy for me. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and be a better person. But, the actual fact is I can't do this. In fact, I think I may repeat history if ever there is a machine to bring me back to the past. I just have to learn from mistakes and move on. Even though there are many things I regretted, there are many that I really treasure. People who know me will know what I mean.

I am really am thankful that God preserve my faith even of my constant unfaithfulness.